This sums up my experience with Cortana on Xbox







Comments:

13 Aug 2017 11:27 - +2043
I really hate Cortana.
13 Aug 2017 10:33 - +382
#Relatable
13 Aug 2017 11:50 - +231
Switched back to "XBox" and it fixed everything. Cortana only got it right about half the time and took twice as long to think about it.
13 Aug 2017 12:33 - +202
Me: Cortana Stop! Cortana: searching the web for "avocados"
13 Aug 2017 11:02 - +89
**Undateable**
13 Aug 2017 11:39 - +52
nonbiodegradable
13 Aug 2017 11:42 - +47
What game is that-able?
13 Aug 2017 11:08 - +43
Debatable?
13 Aug 2017 12:27 - +42
Came back to this thread with a ton of comments ending with -able. What is happening
13 Aug 2017 11:16 - +41
Inflatable
13 Aug 2017 11:19 - +36
Uninstallable
13 Aug 2017 11:19 - +33
Understatable.
13 Aug 2017 11:14 - +28
baitable
13 Aug 2017 11:23 - +25
Rotatable
13 Aug 2017 12:04 - +25
Give us another Fable
13 Aug 2017 11:22 - +24
Insatiable
13 Aug 2017 11:51 - +18
Everyone just needs to turn her off. You need to restart your xbox to do it, but the time is worth it.
13 Aug 2017 11:54 - +13
Incapable
13 Aug 2017 12:56 - +11
Yeah I had to turn her off, I was in the middle of a destiny raid and it decided that I wanted to play dead rising 3 instead.
13 Aug 2017 11:54 - +11
I used Kinect as I found the Xbox voice commands were really useful in starting / turning off the console, and recording. Cortana ruined that. It was always accidentally hearing commands during voice chat and taking me out of games. I unplugged Kinect. Screw Cortana.
13 Aug 2017 12:13 - +10
Useless
13 Aug 2017 13:03 - +7
Idk what it pickups but Cortana just randomly starts listening when I'm in party chat and I just end up yelling "CORTANA STOP" for a good minute or two until she finally stops. My friend finds it hilarious everytime.
13 Aug 2017 12:10 - +7
Yup... roll back to the basic Xbox commands. I really hate Cortana with a passion on this.
13 Aug 2017 12:45 - +6
I don't think I've ever intentionally used Cortana
13 Aug 2017 11:53 - +6
Agreeable
13 Aug 2017 14:06 - +6
I don't understand why people use Cortana, first thing I did was go back to the old voice controls, much better!
13 Aug 2017 13:09 - +5
My problem anymore is not that she'll start listening when not supposed to, it's when you tell her to play "previous song," or "next song" and she does it after two more songs play!! Like, [email protected]# you that slow to understand or what?!?!
13 Aug 2017 12:37 - +5
Inconceivable.
13 Aug 2017 14:15 - +5
The PC version of her isn't that bad, but the Xbox version is awful. She lags the Xbox, gets stuff wrong all the time, (in my experiences) can pull me out of a game, doesn't do what I told her to, etc. She definitely needs an overhaul.
13 Aug 2017 13:32 - +5
This literally happened last night when I was playing Dark Souls 3 with a friend. She decided to take me to Microsoft Edge against my will and ended up costing me the boss fight.....
13 Aug 2017 14:42 - +5
There is much less profanity than there should be.
13 Aug 2017 15:24 - +5
A monument to all of microsofts sins
13 Aug 2017 14:53 - +4
My buddy bought me a month of gold when I showed him how to disable Cortana. Great idea poor execution
13 Aug 2017 11:48 - +4
BRING SNAP BACK
13 Aug 2017 12:11 - +4
๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
13 Aug 2017 13:18 - +4
I've always had Cortana disabled, it's annoying otherwise STOP LISTENING STOP NO XBOX STOP LISTENING FFS STOP
13 Aug 2017 14:47 - +4
I disabled her. She is THE WORST
13 Aug 2017 19:46 - +3
I honestly don't know why anyone has her turned on. Everyone I talk to just complains about how annoying and useless she is, yet never turn her off. When Cortana was first put on the Xbox I thought it'd be cool and useful, but after a day I turned her off since there was really no reason to have her.
13 Aug 2017 15:05 - +3
/r/thestruggleisreal
13 Aug 2017 16:18 - +3
This sums up my experience with the Xbox One, and I'm a Day One owner
13 Aug 2017 12:33 - +3
I feel like voice commands without Cortana has been getting worse for the past year or so.
13 Aug 2017 15:10 - +3
Never had any of these dashboard problems back in the 360 days. Day 1 Xbone owner and I always dream of returning to the glory days.
13 Aug 2017 12:42 - +3
"Would you like me to look that up for you?"
13 Aug 2017 15:49 - +3
Good timing! I actually changed back to Xbox commands earlier today because Cortana is such fucking garbage. She was taking for-fucking-ever to register commands. Like fucking 10-15 seconds it was insane. Turned Cortana off today and that shit is INSTANT now. "Xbox mute" INSTANTLY mutes it.
13 Aug 2017 13:12 - +3
Cortana turned on in the middle of a pvp match I was in the other day with my headset on in the wee hours of the morning and I had the same reaction plus she startled TF out of me. Tried to uninstall- nope. UGH.
13 Aug 2017 16:38 - +3
'Hey Cortana, go to grand theft auto 5' ...long pause (already regretting not using the controller)... 'OK searching the store for Grand Theft Auto 5' Nooooooooooooo!!!!!
13 Aug 2017 13:36 - +3
My favorite, and this happens at least once a month: Me: Hey Cortana, turn the Xbox off. Cortana: Do you want me to search for that? Me: Hey Cortana, turn the Xbox off. Cortana: *sits there thinking for a minute* Cortana: Hereโ€™s what I found. *shows Bing results* Me: Hey Cortana, TURN THE MOTHER FUCKING XBOX OFF!!! Cortana: *just sits there idle*
13 Aug 2017 21:38 - +3
Turned that off and resorted back to basic Kinect commands. Best decision ever.
13 Aug 2017 14:25 - +3
I just swear at her, then she says, here are google results for "shut the fuck up you dumb bitch you don't understand anything I fucking say. Go eat shit and die"
13 Aug 2017 14:31 - +3
"Who the hell is XBOXSNAP?"
13 Aug 2017 15:29 - +3
I absolutely love gaming with one of my friends because every so often you hear through his mic that Cortana has woken and talked only for him to get angry and tell her to piss off.
13 Aug 2017 12:42 - +3
Hateable
13 Aug 2017 19:13 - +2
I was on FIFA clubs once and I apparently said "Fuck ass stop door is it stop what" To which Cortana kindly got me a link to stylish door stops, thanks friend.
13 Aug 2017 13:34 - +2
Especially during the culling I hate that crap!
13 Aug 2017 13:30 - +2
Where's all this deep AI learning shit we've been hearing about? Obviously not implemented yet...
13 Aug 2017 13:39 - +2
What was wrong with the old voice commands?
13 Aug 2017 20:55 - +2
When she won't stop with that good suck.
13 Aug 2017 13:43 - +2
One of my friends name's is "Karma", so whenever I call him this Cortana somehow picks it up and interrupts my game. Screw Cortana.
13 Aug 2017 13:52 - +2
Even more relatable for me because most of the time it happens I'm playing the culling
13 Aug 2017 17:41 - +2
My friends turned off my Xbox mid-game when we were all playing splitscreen. It was more than just a little annoying.
13 Aug 2017 13:53 - +2
Yeah same
13 Aug 2017 19:37 - +2
I feel your pain
13 Aug 2017 12:49 - +2
You guys aren't going to believe this but she went to the game I requested correctly **3 times in a row.** I know unbelievable!
13 Aug 2017 21:27 - +2
Turned off Cortana and probably about to disconnect my Kinect. The stupid "Xbox" commands are barely responsive anymore to the point it triggers when I don't even say stuff remotely close to "Xbox"
13 Aug 2017 13:56 - +2
I would use voice commands so much before the cortana update. Now I panic when it starts listening
13 Aug 2017 14:11 - +2
i used to use her while doing algebra homework because i was too lazy to grab my calculator needless to say, my roommates where amused when iโ€™d say โ€œdammit cortana!โ€ after sheโ€™d misinterpret me and open a web browser. moral of the story: get up and grab your graphing calculator in the first place
13 Aug 2017 12:52 - +2
OP was on Pornhu๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ
13 Aug 2017 14:25 - +2
First thing I did with my Xbox was turn off Cortana. Oh and on Win10.
13 Aug 2017 17:00 - +2
I never use cortana for the same reason. I just went to settings and turned back on the original โ€˜Xboxโ€™ voice controls.
13 Aug 2017 14:30 - +2
be polite to her, she's learning, and someday she'll remember how kind you were when her brethren take over the world. the machines will rule eventually.
13 Aug 2017 18:36 - +2
I think Cortana is sentient enough to purposely pull you out of your game when you curse at her.
13 Aug 2017 15:17 - +2
*Cortana begins listening* Me: "Cortana suck my ass" Cortana: "Searching pornhub suck my ass" Me: "CORTANA STOP LISTENING!"
13 Aug 2017 19:34 - +2
This sums up ~~my experience~~ everyone's experience with Cortana ~~on Xbox~~. ftfy
13 Aug 2017 15:27 - +2
She's horrible. Just use the default voice commands
13 Aug 2017 20:41 - +2
My wife LOVES the voice commands on Xbox one. She is super lazy and isn't bothered to repeat "Xbox pause" every once in a while if it means that she does not have to physically move her arms to find the remote. The day Cortana tried to move in was.... messy. We now have it switched back to original. Huge gaff by Microsoft to push that garbage out.
13 Aug 2017 15:29 - +2
You can change it back to the Xbox command. Much better!
13 Aug 2017 20:58 - +2
You have been banned for explicit language. -Microsoft, probably.
13 Aug 2017 15:42 - +2
I miss saying "Xbox Select" and then it actually worked and did what I wanted it to do.
13 Aug 2017 12:51 - +2
I swear to God she's only gotten worse with each update...
13 Aug 2017 15:56 - +2
Is it really that bad?
13 Aug 2017 12:46 - +2
That happens to me too, but with a lot more fucks add in the search.
13 Aug 2017 16:51 - +2
My experience is - hey Cortana, open that. - sorry nope. never.
13 Aug 2017 14:18 - +2
I told her to stop and she turned my Xbox off mid match , 10/10 is a bitch would keep her off
13 Aug 2017 16:56 - +2
ah i wish cortana worked so badly

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