"That's not it."

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

View original post [self.Jokes]


13 Aug 2017 17:16 - +2909
The brilliance of this has not gone unappreciated. Thank you for a joke I have not seen before, take my upvote and a good day to you sir.
13 Aug 2017 20:52 - +2897
The version of this I heard while in the Navy was a Sailor dribbling an imaginary basketball. Same course as this joke, but when he gets discharged and walks off the ship, he chest passes the ball to the officer of the deck and says "well, I don't need this anymore."
13 Aug 2017 20:05 - +632
I was in the navy for six years. This isn't the first time I've heard of someone acting like this to get discharged.
13 Aug 2017 19:49 - +332
This joke came from Singapore? An adaptation from a "story" of a serviceman who went around finding something, and ended up being discharged with his identity card "found"
13 Aug 2017 19:54 - +153
Klinger IRL.
13 Aug 2017 20:41 - +134
This sounds like an adaptation of an old Singapore NS story Basically when you go for National Service you have to give in your regular Identity Card for an army issued IC. Only once you finish your 2 year service or get discharged do you get your regular IC back. The story is basically the same with the guy looking literally everywhere for something and then gets discharged for mental problems. When he gets his IC back he smiles and says "Found it".
13 Aug 2017 20:27 - +71
This is why claymores say "do not eat" on them.
13 Aug 2017 20:33 - +30
This has been told in the Norwegian army for ages, my dad heard it when he was in the Norwegian Airforce in the 60's, I heard it in the 90's, and my friends son came home and told his dad this joke last year. Oldie but goodie :)
13 Aug 2017 22:25 - +25
I 've heard similarish version: A husband says to his wife "get me one beer before it starts." After awhile husband says "could you get me another one, before it starts". And soon after that "could you get me yet another beer, before it starts". And at that point, wife asks "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO START?!" Husband says "oh great, now it started".
13 Aug 2017 20:53 - +18
That's like a reasonable version Catch 22.
13 Aug 2017 21:43 - +15
I don't get it
13 Aug 2017 21:17 - +14
This brings to mind this quote from Catch-22: "There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. "It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed." Joseph Heller, Catch-22
13 Aug 2017 20:10 - +12
Is there any sub for smart jokes? I m not saying the jokes from this sub are bad but i really enjoy this kind of joke :)
13 Aug 2017 21:17 - +11
My buddy was in the Finnish army and he said this was a discharge story that is told as true. A story I liked more is about a guy who doesn't say anything during bootcamp. Very quiet and sullen. One night they're in their bunks and he quietly says, "tomorrow we get our guns."
13 Aug 2017 19:58 - +8
I really liked that joke.
13 Aug 2017 21:05 - +8
"Ain't no use in looking down, ain't no discharge on the ground"
13 Aug 2017 21:11 - +6
13 Aug 2017 20:37 - +6
And that folks, is how you get out of being FRONTLINE INFANTRY
13 Aug 2017 21:13 - +4
A joke in the spirit of Catch 22
13 Aug 2017 21:44 - +4
Gettin' that DD214 yo
13 Aug 2017 21:34 - +4
Reminded me of Catch 22 >"Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
13 Aug 2017 21:03 - +4
I've never heard this variation before. When I was in Basic Training, the version people would tell is of the guy who had a racquetball that he would constantly toss a foot in the air and catch, all while saying "It's all a game". He did this for so long that he was evaluated by a psychiatrist and found mentally unstable. Later, he was sent to the Colonel's office to get discharged from the Army. As soon as the Colonel signed his discharge, the guy put the ball on his desk and said "I win".
13 Aug 2017 20:55 - +4
I don't get it?
13 Aug 2017 23:16 - +3
I had an Airman who wanted out. She paid off her personal credit card debt with her military travel card.
13 Aug 2017 22:20 - +3
"Ain't no use in looking down, there ain't no discharge on the ground"
13 Aug 2017 22:38 - +3
Now that's how you catch 22
13 Aug 2017 23:25 - +3
I heard about this story before! I'm Singaporean and when we enlist in the army, they take away our Pink National Identification Card. So the joke was to find everywhere for the card and eventually after 2 years of service, we can smile and say "we found it" ;)
13 Aug 2017 20:55 - +3
That's it, my new joke of the day thanks
13 Aug 2017 21:14 - +3
Hell, my dad told that to me when I was about 10...I'm 58 now...
13 Aug 2017 21:37 - +3
There is a comedy sketch from small serbian TV station, shot in '92., that is exactly this joke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j69NWV4a-PI
13 Aug 2017 20:25 - +2
Lol noice
13 Aug 2017 21:16 - +2
Must have taken that soldier an awful long time to find enough random pieces of paper on his base lying around to get discharged.
13 Aug 2017 21:43 - +2
The Ole dd214
13 Aug 2017 20:41 - +2
It's funny cause it's true.
13 Aug 2017 21:43 - +2
Reminds me of Klinger from MASH
13 Aug 2017 22:01 - +2
Ain't no use in looking down!
13 Aug 2017 22:21 - +2
Yossarian lives
13 Aug 2017 23:21 - +2
And that soldier's name? Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger.
13 Aug 2017 23:45 - +1
I have been told this exact story (not as a joke) with slightly more detail by an ex army officer, so either this joke is based on truth or I'm an idiot for believing

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