That'll be a sack of coins, please.

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19 Aug 2017 02:53 - +3242
Leg pain you say? Let me grab the hacksaw.
19 Aug 2017 03:00 - +1134
Oh your wife lipping off to much at ya. Bring her down to my office we'll vibrate all those stressful thoughts away. For the people not getting it, doctors use to get women off for "medical reasons" that is why the vibrator was invented so the doctors hands didn't cramp up.
19 Aug 2017 02:39 - +834
Might I interest you in some of my quality medical grade heroin?
19 Aug 2017 02:32 - +711
There's nothing leeches can't cure...
19 Aug 2017 02:37 - +238
That will be one chicken, please. Oh, and sorry 3/10 of your kids died in childbirth.
19 Aug 2017 04:34 - +210
People 50years from now will tell the same about current doctors Cancer? Put this poison in to irradiate the whole body Bacterial infection ? Well lets nuke every bacteria out of your body with this pill Pain ? Take this highly addictive opiates that will probably destroy your life
19 Aug 2017 04:15 - +148
Ahh its just some bad blood, we'll just drain a little out aaaaannnnd he's dead.
19 Aug 2017 03:12 - +147
You could literally tell your patient that they're a witch and the whole town'd have to believe.
19 Aug 2017 03:32 - +46
Nothing a good bleeding won't solve
19 Aug 2017 04:21 - +44
Im listening to a funny history podcast called "The Dollop" and its so crazy how many people died because they had a cold, or the doctors just didn't wash their hands lol.
19 Aug 2017 04:27 - +27
Ghosts in my blood!! That's what I've been doing all this coke for! Thanks Doc, you rule!
19 Aug 2017 05:13 - +20
While a lot of 'old timey' medicine was bullshit, there is evidence that some methods doctors used were effective and influenced by the scientific method. I attended a lecture from one of the scientists that tested a "[1000 year old medicine](" the antibiotic was composed of something like 11 ingredients and removing a single one made it ineffective.
19 Aug 2017 04:38 - +14
You need a donkey kicking.
19 Aug 2017 05:02 - +10
Have this heroin, it's a non-addictive alternative to morphine. - presumably some doctor in the late 1800's
19 Aug 2017 05:18 - +10
> you should do cocaine about it is my new favorite conclusion
19 Aug 2017 02:54 - +10
surprisingly accurate
19 Aug 2017 04:57 - +7
Dan Cummins has a comedy bit related to this called " Whiskey! Laudanum! Saw!" Link. Edit:a word or two
19 Aug 2017 08:00 - +6
Up until 1920s/30s Cocaine, Opium, Heroin, Cannabis, Belladonna, etc were all common components of medications sold by Eli Lilly Pharmaceutical and other big Pharma that still are in business today. You could mail a distributor for a catalog and order tablets of Morphine or whatever you'd prefer. Methadone was originally formulated in Nazi Germany bc WW2 Germany had little access to Opium/Poppy for treatment of soldiers and Hitler was also a mixed addict so Adolphine was synthesized... Just some fun facts...
19 Aug 2017 12:08 - +5
I'm a young ER doc. Being a young looking guy in my early 30's, most patients are skeptical when I try to tell them about logical and evidence-based things. Conversely, the oldest guy in our practice is like 70+ and looks like an older Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones. This motherfucker could walk into a room and tell you that you should eat your own fingers or you will die, and you'd believe him. He just has that, "i've been a doctor for 40 years" look and no one EVER questions him, nurses or patients. Meanwhile, to patients i'm like "um, yeah so definitely stop eating chalk." And patients be like "um, yeah, you look too young to be a doctor. I read a website saying chalk is good for you. So fuck you."
19 Aug 2017 04:17 - +5
I almost threw out my back laughing at this!
19 Aug 2017 04:32 - +5
"dysentery you say? sorry son.. you got 2 days to live.."

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