Beard Attractiveness Graph.

View original post []


13 Oct 2017 12:24 - +7496
I like how terrorists are more attractive than Jews or the Amish. Everyone likes a bad boy
13 Oct 2017 10:45 - +1660
Goddamn it, now I'm going to have to shave my Amish beard and get rid of my suspenders. WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE?
13 Oct 2017 11:41 - +770
I feel like this graph is making terrorists a little sexier than they should be.
13 Oct 2017 11:06 - +527
Uh, why isn't my Pirate Beard on this list? Cause it is clearly attractive as fuck and falls somewhere between Orthodox Jew and Amish.
13 Oct 2017 12:15 - +474
The difference between Amish and Hasidic beards is that Amish don't have mustaches because they are 'warlike'. O Jews have beards and wear black and white suits for the same reason that Buddhist monks shave their heads and wear orange robes: to renounce value in earthly superficial physical attractiveness.
13 Oct 2017 18:18 - +345
D- Horizontal axis isn't labelled. No units given.
13 Oct 2017 16:35 - +345
After around the down slope of "Beard" on the graph, attractiveness is no longer the objective.
13 Oct 2017 11:17 - +340
There's just enough room for ZZ-Top after DD.
13 Oct 2017 15:04 - +295
Important note to Reddit: those peaks and valleys don't apply if you can only grow hair under your chin. In that case, it's all valleys. Shave your shit, neckbeard.
13 Oct 2017 16:03 - +221
This graph is a sine that they need to shave.
13 Oct 2017 18:01 - +125
The x-axis doesn’t have a label goddamnit
13 Oct 2017 18:02 - +75
Patchy? My beard never hits that phase. It grows in nice, thick, and even. I wish the same could be said about my hair on top of my head.
13 Oct 2017 11:13 - +57
You shall not...
13 Oct 2017 18:27 - +31
lets be real. good looking people can wear anything and rock any look and still be attractive. if you are ugly no beard or clothes are going to fix that.
13 Oct 2017 18:10 - +30
A man with a beard doesn't care about attractiveness. He is too busy stroking it while browsing oils, washes and balms on the internet.
13 Oct 2017 14:11 - +30
The attractiveness should just rise after beard.
13 Oct 2017 12:12 - +27
Santa should be just above Gandalf.
13 Oct 2017 18:28 - +23
Amish beards are romantic. A husband starts growing his once he's married. You can take off your wedding ring, but you can't shave off your beard for one night at the bar.
13 Oct 2017 11:30 - +19
As a person with a beard, this is fairly accurate.
13 Oct 2017 13:26 - +18
Hmm that's odd. My graph has always been a flat line dead at the bottom.
13 Oct 2017 18:06 - +13
I think a beard would suit me, but I never seem to get past the homeless guy stage, which drags on for weeks. I always end up shaving it off in the end. It ought to be in my genes since my dad has a beard.
13 Oct 2017 13:09 - +12
Why you make it in a velocity time graph lol
13 Oct 2017 17:27 - +11
Is there a bald pussy graph?
13 Oct 2017 15:48 - +10
Admittedly in the I really need to shave category
13 Oct 2017 15:59 - +10
this graph is uncomfortably accurate.
13 Oct 2017 11:31 - +8
Gandalf the White or Gandalf the Grey, yes one is more attractive than the other.
13 Oct 2017 18:48 - +6
I'll forever have a patchy thin beard. I'm 25, no hope for me. You know how often i wish for a thick beard? Not very often but I'd like one. My beard growing genetics are shit
13 Oct 2017 12:15 - +6
It's all about how you work that beard. A confident beard can be a sexy one. Amish or not. ;)
13 Oct 2017 18:35 - +5
Science has found that most women think a 3-6 day growth of hair is the most attractive out of the options of clean shaved, slighty hairy, neatly kept, and full beard.
13 Oct 2017 16:21 - +5
The unshavey valley
13 Oct 2017 19:39 - +5
Relevant: [Beard Trustworthiness Scale](
13 Oct 2017 13:57 - +4
Can I get a bear attractiveness graph?
13 Oct 2017 14:57 - +4
Where does Pai Mei fall on this graph?
13 Oct 2017 21:00 - +4
I'm just gonna assume ZZ top is just so ridiculously attractive it's literally off the chart.
13 Oct 2017 20:26 - +4
I once spent 13 months trying to grow a beard. Nobody noticed when I shaved it off. I had such dreams, reddit. I dreamed of sporting a zz top beard. But alas, it was not meant to br.
13 Oct 2017 15:49 - +4
Currently at the need to shave stage, but my wife believes the next stage is also below the line lol
13 Oct 2017 15:39 - +3
Well, I call BS since there is no simple "Beard" you amateur.

Current top posts:

"I hate everyone...except you." (83 comments)
Hate when that happens (31 comments)
Steve Irwin would have been 56 today. Happy birthday mate (86 comments)
TIL Bhutan is the world's only carbon negative country. The constitution demands at least 60% of the country covered in forest, making it a sink of over four million tonnes of CO2 per year. (67 comments)
omg, no pic
LPT: Love to play music while studying or working? Play video game soundtracks because they are designed to make sure your attention is not diverted away and you don’t lose focus. (263 comments)
This was unexpected (61 comments)
Oh no! Pupper down call 91 bork (48 comments)
The mouse hole we put in the wall when we gutted our house. The light inside is motion activated and the wallpaper is vintage and from a flea market in England. (85 comments)
Let's Dance. (45 comments)
Woman finds her corgi comforting grieving stranger in the airport (65 comments)