I lost a loved one today. I'm not sure which one yet, but whoever cuts cheese cake like this is dead to me.


View original post [i.imgur.com]




Comments:

13 Oct 2017 18:57 - +1870
If you cut along the short edge of the point, you'll get two triangle shaped pieces again. Edit: If only all of life's issues could be solved like cheesecake geometry, then that would be truly golden ~~ratio~~. Thanks for the gold. Unexpected, but appreciated. :)
13 Oct 2017 19:45 - +1694
Don't give up hope. [Cut on red to get a larger piece, you can cut on pink as well for two smaller pieces.](https://i.imgur.com/30u7d0M.jpg) Nice and neat again. Might add that I can't imagine why anyone would cut it like this other than to annoy you. It's a two-slice cut, takes longer than doing it properly.
13 Oct 2017 19:01 - +531
I'm sorry for you loss, please give me some cheesecake
13 Oct 2017 19:53 - +152
Looks like you're just going to have to eat the rest ASAP, so you can start putting this horrible tragedy behind you, and begin to heal.
13 Oct 2017 20:31 - +122
We had cheesecake at work today for a guys leaving do and the guy cutting it honest to God was struggling to think how to cut it to share between 16 people. I work in engineering.
13 Oct 2017 20:08 - +39
you want to know what’s worse? People that eat the icing and leaving the cake
13 Oct 2017 20:08 - +29
It's like deformed pac-man.
13 Oct 2017 19:00 - +29
There is cheesecake left, thats enough.
13 Oct 2017 21:18 - +21
[this is what I do to people that complain about how to cut cakes. ](https://i.imgur.com/YfBSo4b.jpg)
13 Oct 2017 20:26 - +20
This is the kind of shit that rips families apart.
13 Oct 2017 20:45 - +19
[It's okay, traditional slices are still possible. It can be saved.](https://imgur.com/a/frkNh)
13 Oct 2017 21:19 - +14
Not that big a deal
13 Oct 2017 21:29 - +8
Pay attention, people! *This* is how you craft a title to turn a shit post into a hit post.
13 Oct 2017 20:28 - +7
Looks like a dad thing to do.
13 Oct 2017 20:21 - +5
Savages!
13 Oct 2017 20:52 - +5
I'm very sorry for your loss.
13 Oct 2017 21:14 - +5
I have women in my family who do this. “Well, I don’t want a big piece since I just had dinner”. JUST CUT A FUCKING THINNER PIECE THEN. It’s like they don’t realize you can just make a full length slice the same size as a short but wide slice. Once day that knife is gonna get buried alongside a body.
13 Oct 2017 21:14 - +5
My sister cuts all cakes like this to piss people off. She's a symptom of a problem in my gene pool.
13 Oct 2017 20:31 - +5
That's a divorce that you fight tooth and nail for everything.
13 Oct 2017 23:11 - +5
I live in Chicago, but grew up in New York. In New York they cut a round pizza pie in triangle slices. In Chicago they cut a round pizza pie into squares. That sometimes leaves you with a round/square 1 inch long piece of pizza that is just crust. I have to specify for them to cut the pizza "pie cut". It's infuriating at times when they fuck up my order.
13 Oct 2017 20:47 - +4
To me, it's shaped like half an upvote
13 Oct 2017 20:12 - +4
I guess that person really... takes the cake
13 Oct 2017 22:00 - +3
My wife pulls shit like this all the time. Don't forget about the one spoonful mini bite trick either!
13 Oct 2017 20:31 - +3
That cheesecake looks delicious though:-)
13 Oct 2017 21:27 - +3
Wow half an upvote, OP
13 Oct 2017 20:41 - +3
Easily salvaged. Eat the whole thing.
13 Oct 2017 21:19 - +3
Plot twist: The culprit was mildly infuriated by trying to fit a traditional piece of cake into a rectangular container, and this was their mildly satisfying solution.
13 Oct 2017 20:46 - +3
Given that there’s no crust around the perimeter, I’m okay with this.
13 Oct 2017 21:46 - +3
Whoever only makes a crust for only the bottom and not the outer side of a cheesecake is dead to me long before its cut.
13 Oct 2017 20:51 - +3
Leave her
13 Oct 2017 22:33 - +3
Better title than post
13 Oct 2017 20:59 - +3
I mean it looks like they just wanted a square meal
13 Oct 2017 21:26 - +3
RIP in peace Pacman. Taken too soon
13 Oct 2017 20:59 - +3
Whelp. Better throw it away now
13 Oct 2017 21:31 - +3
I am the sort of person who will cut a cake like this. AMA.
13 Oct 2017 21:02 - +3
You live with a god damned monster! You must kill it for the sake of the world! #cheesecakelivesmatter
13 Oct 2017 21:46 - +3
Once I was cutting cake and I took a square right out of the center.
13 Oct 2017 21:02 - +3
"Cheesecake"
13 Oct 2017 22:12 - +3
put... put your face in it.
13 Oct 2017 20:49 - +3
That would make me stabby. I’d have to polish off the rest of the cheesecake before I killed people tho.
13 Oct 2017 21:01 - +2
Monsters. Whoever did that is a terrible person. My condolences.
13 Oct 2017 21:33 - +2
Who cares what shape your cheese cake slice is? It matters so little.
13 Oct 2017 23:51 - +2
I see my mother has been over to visit.
13 Oct 2017 21:21 - +2
Oh man I do shit like this to my family all the time. [Never gets old.](https://imgur.com/a/g385c)
13 Oct 2017 21:44 - +2
They just wanted a perfect rectangular piece of cake. There’s nothing wrong with that. You can continue cutting it in your regular peasant way.
13 Oct 2017 20:57 - +2
I think a close relative of yours is a very ham-handed member of the Wu-Tang Clan.
13 Oct 2017 21:48 - +2
You could probably go to the Amazon forest, find a indigenous tribe of uncivilized Indians, and teach them about our way of life. Eventually they would understand how barbaric this is.
13 Oct 2017 21:12 - +2
r/WTF
13 Oct 2017 21:56 - +2
Why's your cheesecake so shiny?
13 Oct 2017 21:31 - +2
You got an obtuse scalene triangle in the upper left quadrant just cut that out and you're back to square one, so to speak. Show the loved one how to cut an isosceles triangle for the perfect cheesecake cut and you're golden 👌 They obviously roll with the rectangular cuts, I'm with it. Might have been late night, midnight snackin, low light, trying to be quiet. Haha.. You'll be Aight...
13 Oct 2017 22:26 - +2
I don’t even like cheesecake and I think that horrible knife job is a disservice to cheesecakes.
13 Oct 2017 23:31 - +2
To be honest, as heinous as this crime is, a cheese cake has got to be the only cake that you can get away with slicing like that. I mean it's a base and with filling on top so pretty much the same if you slice it by the edges or middle. Please don't down vote me :(
13 Oct 2017 22:36 - +2
Sorry for your lo- #ooohh
13 Oct 2017 21:00 - +2
I love it when people do this, it gives me an excuse to cut a huge piece (or several pieces) because now I need to even it out.
13 Oct 2017 22:53 - +2
I commend you for splitting the words “cheese” and “cake” so that it would seem as if someone “cut the cheese”...cake.
13 Oct 2017 21:04 - +2
My thoughts and prayers go out to you <3
13 Oct 2017 22:55 - +2
Glad we are not related. I dont want to add to your sorrow.
13 Oct 2017 21:16 - +2
Someone knows you hate this and is real life trolling! My ex used to do this to me and played on my OCD to get under my skin. She was cruel, hence now an ex :)
13 Oct 2017 23:11 - +2
I cut a huge circle in the middle.
13 Oct 2017 21:30 - +2
Great post.. #1 all time on reddit material here.
13 Oct 2017 23:20 - +2
It's almost an upvote!
13 Oct 2017 21:31 - +2
Hey /u/MrSquigles, This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.
13 Oct 2017 21:33 - +2
Whenever I’m at a hotel or event every cake at the dessert table looks like this. I get so pissed off and my girlfriend has to shush me. First world problems.
13 Oct 2017 21:40 - +2
I'll get my pitchfork
13 Oct 2017 20:35 - +2
I do what I want!
13 Oct 2017 21:45 - +2
What about whoever forgot to actually bake the cake?
13 Oct 2017 20:37 - +2
People can overlook many things, but THIS...
13 Oct 2017 21:50 - +2
It’s 2017 and there are still savage people like this.
13 Oct 2017 20:45 - +2
Great thread title. Someone ordered a corner piece.
13 Oct 2017 22:23 - +2
Title game at 💯💯💯
13 Oct 2017 20:49 - +2
If that's a jello "cheesecake", you're dead to us.
13 Oct 2017 22:35 - +2
You wouldn’t last long at my In-Laws house. They’re both in their 60’s and eat like that. My FIL is the worst. He’ll pick at the tops of food and then if you ask him if he wants some, he’ll say no.
13 Oct 2017 20:50 - +2
now that the cheesecake is ruined you should try cutting a large square piece out of the middle. Embrace the chaos.
13 Oct 2017 22:38 - +2
I used to mess with my brother and sister when making their lunch with something like this. I would cut their sandwich on the diagonal half way, and then cut straight down parallel with the crust. They hated me. still do.
13 Oct 2017 20:52 - +2
https://youtu.be/MdYy_7rsLKk?t=4m54s
13 Oct 2017 22:54 - +2
What does it matter?
13 Oct 2017 20:52 - +2
Sad.
13 Oct 2017 23:00 - +2
All jokes aside, cheese cake squares are bomb
13 Oct 2017 20:54 - +2
This is so Petty I almost thought it was my. Pornhub history
13 Oct 2017 23:13 - +2
My stepmom bakes a lot, and when me & my sister were teenagers she asked us to cut some cake and bring it out to the living room for my visiting grandparents. We cut square slices from the middle outward. It was a round cake. 20 yrs later & we’re still not allowed to be the first to cut into anything.
13 Oct 2017 20:57 - +2
Philistines!
13 Oct 2017 23:26 - +2
That cheesecake is very wet looking, can go two ways in flavor.
13 Oct 2017 20:30 - +2
Maybe they just wanted to carve out a Pacman. Turned out well :)
13 Oct 2017 23:37 - +2
r/madlads
13 Oct 2017 20:30 - +2
I see a face...with an indifferent expression

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