I asked “What book do you want?” She said “Get me the one with the dragon on it!”

View original post [i.redd.it]


15 Nov 2017 08:51 - +5783
Gooood, teach her how to crush her enemies. Get her reading Machiavelli next.
15 Nov 2017 13:16 - +1334
*All warfare is based on deception* *Where you are weak, feign strength; where you are strong, feign weakness. Lead your enemy in to disorder and he will waste his energies fighting phantoms* "Tomorrow, naptime, some shit gonna get **real** up in here!"
15 Nov 2017 09:59 - +1241
And this is how Brittany came to rule elementary school.
15 Nov 2017 09:35 - +741
This is funny until she uses Sun Tzu to improve her parental manipulation powers
15 Nov 2017 08:12 - +532
You'll regret that when she's 15
15 Nov 2017 09:19 - +322
Why is that Costco so Empty.
15 Nov 2017 12:37 - +302
What edition is this? Art of War is actually a very short book. Is this some sort of version that's full of commentary and adaptations? Edit: yeah, it has been pointed out several times thst it's a collection, not just Art of War. Quick glance on mobile screen did not reveal this to me.
15 Nov 2017 09:05 - +139
Alexandra the Great
15 Nov 2017 14:42 - +139
“Daddy what’s karma?” “Be quiet and hold this book sweetie.”
15 Nov 2017 10:24 - +124
Good choice. She will kill you last.
15 Nov 2017 12:21 - +88
R/thathappened ?
15 Nov 2017 11:51 - +76
Few people know that Sun Tzu's five paragraph planning outline is still in use by every major military in the world. Whether a simple or complex plan, when you use that format, you cover "most of the bases" needed to carry out your scheme.
15 Nov 2017 11:26 - +53
What exactly can I do to garner her favor? I would like to be one of the lucky few who aren’t crushed under her booted heel, 20 years from now when her reign of terror begins. Also, she’s frickin’ adorable.
15 Nov 2017 09:10 - +52
Hey honey hold this and act confused. Mommy/Daddy is running low on karma.
15 Nov 2017 12:32 - +32
Would have been funny if you didnt tell her to make that face
15 Nov 2017 13:47 - +32
"If fighting were to ensure victory then you must *FIGHT!*" Sun Tzu said that. And sure he knows more about fighting than you do pal, *Cause he invented it!* And then he perfected it, and used it to beat every foe that approached him in the *Ring of Honor!* And then he used his *fight money* to by two every animal on Earth, herded them onto a boat, and beat the crap out of every one of them. And from that day forward, whenever there are a bunch of animals in one place, *It's called a Zoo!* #Unless it's a farm!
15 Nov 2017 09:30 - +31
She's already plotting against you...
15 Nov 2017 12:26 - +30
"Here hold this and look thoughtful, the internet's gonna love this."
15 Nov 2017 13:51 - +28
I said “Hold this book!” She said “Why?” My response, “Quick make a funny face!”. Then i posted it for karma.
15 Nov 2017 10:39 - +24
Never seen a Costco with so many empty shelves!
15 Nov 2017 08:33 - +22
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
15 Nov 2017 12:54 - +21
“Hold this book and act like you’re reading it so I can take a picture and post it on Reddit making it seem like you wanted to book because it has a dragon for karma.”
15 Nov 2017 13:56 - +12
Should have gotten her [this](https://www.amazon.com/Compilers-Principles-Techniques-Tools-2nd/dp/0321486811) dragon book so she can get a headstart on writing compilers.
15 Nov 2017 13:49 - +11
Related anecdote: When I was in about 5th grade I would go into my school library and check out any book that had the word dragon in the title, and of course read it very quickly and be back the next day/week for another one. This lead me to a book about a chinese immigrant family that built an airplane or something. I honestly don't remember the exact title but it had the word dragon in it, relating to the eastern theme and flying of course. This particular book had a castration scene that I guess you could say scarred me for life. For most words you know, you can't remember a specific instance where you learned it. I remember learning "Castration" from that book far more vividly than I remember any details from almost any other book I read during that time. So yeah.
15 Nov 2017 13:41 - +10
Young Blonde Child General conquering China directed by Quentin Tarantino. I would watch this movie.
15 Nov 2017 14:23 - +9
“Appear sleepy when you are awake, and awake when you are sleepy.” “The supreme art of war is to subdue your parents without fighting.” “Let your plans against your siblings be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” “In the midst of mom and dad fighting, there is also opportunity”
15 Nov 2017 10:28 - +6
What's wrong with the back half of your Costco?
15 Nov 2017 13:01 - +6
I love the book section at Costco!
15 Nov 2017 14:04 - +6
Who upvotes this Facebook shit?
15 Nov 2017 15:39 - +5
You fucked up. She's gonna rule the house in a few years so expect that.
15 Nov 2017 15:43 - +3
'If you know the babysitter and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred naptimes.'
15 Nov 2017 15:41 - +3
She'll be setting up mock battles during recess in no time!
15 Nov 2017 14:10 - +3
Given what female social dynamics are like, this was a good investment.

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