As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero

The Invisible Man


View original post [self.Jokes]




Comments:

7 Dec 2017 15:38 - +3930
Didn’t expect to click on a dark joke...
7 Dec 2017 15:40 - +2611
As your dad, I always thought you were a little slow, but I still loved you, all the way from my other families house.
7 Dec 2017 19:07 - +296
> "You remember when you're young, and you think your Dad's Superman, but then you get older and you realize he's just a drunk who wears a cape?" - Dave Attell
7 Dec 2017 16:18 - +235
I came here to laugh, not to feel.
7 Dec 2017 16:59 - +60
Finally a hero I can strive to be like
7 Dec 2017 18:53 - +57
Personally my dad is One-PUNCH-Man
7 Dec 2017 19:03 - +52
Incredible how you can, see right through him!
7 Dec 2017 19:52 - +30
Wasn't the Invisible Man originally a "monster" back in the 20's? A chemist who went insane?
7 Dec 2017 19:41 - +21
The invisible man is actually a universal movie monster. Made in 1933 this movie is considered one of the greats and pioneered a way for special effects for the coming ages. Johnny Depp is cast to portray him in the upcoming reboot.
7 Dec 2017 19:57 - +16
Found John Cena's child
7 Dec 2017 19:53 - +12
Sadly, I thought this was true OC. Shoutout to /u/371121 for [beating me to it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/59sipq/my_dads_a_superhero/). Definitely a case of parallel thinking. Still, I'm quite happy that a joke that popped into my head actually made it to the front page. It validates way too many hours of joke writing and thinking I'm a lot funnier than I actually am. Thanks everyone.
7 Dec 2017 21:04 - +10
My father left my mom when she got pregnant. He had a really generic, common name like John Smith, so when I was little, I would imagine him as a James Bond-like spy or detective and he had to have a generic name as his cover. He came back later in my life because "he wanted to be a father again" aka he felt guilty for ditching us. Turns out he's a hardcore conservative, Trump-loving, asshole. I want my childhood dream back.
7 Dec 2017 19:12 - +9
Haha but also not haha :(
7 Dec 2017 21:06 - +6
Yeah we need more black superheroes
7 Dec 2017 21:09 - +5
I used to watch alot of Dragonball z i was convinced my dad was just off training like goku always did
7 Dec 2017 17:46 - +4
Right in the feels man
7 Dec 2017 19:16 - +4
Shoutout to Simpleflip.
7 Dec 2017 23:01 - +2
I always thought my priest was a super hero... The Flash
7 Dec 2017 21:39 - +2
OOOFFFF
7 Dec 2017 22:02 - +2
I don't understand why everyone is calling this a black joke. There are plenty of kids of all races that don't have fathers. I don't get why some things are seen as "black jokes" when fatherless children rate of all races are quite high.
7 Dec 2017 20:58 - +2
Was the invisible man a superhero? He, understandably given his condition, was a huge asshole
7 Dec 2017 21:20 - +2
"peace loving decoy ready for retaliation" The type of lemonade I love. Well done.
7 Dec 2017 21:06 - +2
Username checks out
7 Dec 2017 22:16 - +2
I didn't know I had a brother. Welcome to the family.
7 Dec 2017 21:50 - +2
I'm 19 and I still do
7 Dec 2017 23:34 - +2
I thought my dad was a superhero, too. Turns out he just really like to wear latex and a mask.
7 Dec 2017 21:49 - +2
Better than Strapman.
7 Dec 2017 21:50 - +2
My Hero My guardian angel you'll always be my hero love you dad
7 Dec 2017 21:17 - +2
The Invisible Man was actually a villain, so the premise of your joke is dumb. Read books.
7 Dec 2017 18:27 - +2
Chuckled un-sensibly, thank you.
7 Dec 2017 20:09 - +2
Dave Atell has a joke similar to this. "Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape"
7 Dec 2017 21:35 - +2
haha... ohhh... ohh no...
7 Dec 2017 21:25 - +1
I didn’t SEE that one coming (or leaving in your case).
7 Dec 2017 21:17 - +1
r/darkjokes
7 Dec 2017 21:38 - +1
I always knew my dad was a really tough guy. I remember walking by his bedroom and him telling my mom if she turns the light out he'll eat that thing.
7 Dec 2017 21:33 - +1
The invisible man was actually a villain, according to the book.
7 Dec 2017 21:44 - +1
The amazing balls-scratcher man!
7 Dec 2017 21:15 - +1
Didn't see that coming Neither did you......
7 Dec 2017 21:48 - +1
God damnit. Have an upvote.
7 Dec 2017 21:17 - +1
That made me feel like I'm in a movie.
7 Dec 2017 21:57 - +1
Always will be!
7 Dec 2017 21:27 - +1
Short and simple. I like it.
7 Dec 2017 21:37 - +1
Not gonna lie, that’s pretty good
7 Dec 2017 21:35 - +1
Until you knew that when he said 'I'm going to make your mom pay' meant anal for mommy while you thought they were playing hide & seek in the bed.
7 Dec 2017 23:55 - +1
Plot Twist: OP is blind.
7 Dec 2017 20:59 - +1
I thought you didn't know his identity
7 Dec 2017 18:51 - +1
>As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero 'cos he wore his underwear outside his pants?
7 Dec 2017 21:00 - +1
2me4meirl
7 Dec 2017 21:16 - +1
absolutely all father's are super heroes for their children
7 Dec 2017 21:02 - +1
Oof. This one hits close to home. Haven't seen the jerk since I was 11 yrs old. Dude just vanished on us. I love this joke tho. So good!
7 Dec 2017 21:17 - +1
lol
7 Dec 2017 21:03 - +1
My father was the Weinstein of fathers...
7 Dec 2017 21:22 - +1
This hits close but it's still funny.
7 Dec 2017 21:03 - +1
Invisible man is a horror movie monster. Invisible woman is a superhero. ... #men'srights!
7 Dec 2017 21:26 - +1
Not Deadman?
7 Dec 2017 21:03 - +1
What do you call the one who comes home once a year for a couple of days, but makes sure he gets drunk and gives you one year's worth of beating while he can, forcing you to run for your life and hide at your neighbour's while he's out there looking for you in his underpants.
7 Dec 2017 21:32 - +1
You know when your young and you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up and realize he’s just a drunk who wears a cape
7 Dec 2017 21:08 - +1
Never knew my dad but wouldn't call him a hero. More like a cunt
7 Dec 2017 21:34 - +1
I'm dying right now...... On the inside.... As I cry....
7 Dec 2017 21:09 - +1
/u/putinlover30
7 Dec 2017 21:35 - +1
This is decidedly morbid
7 Dec 2017 21:10 - +1
HAHA! I can so relate to this one! Dad was nowhere to be found! :D
7 Dec 2017 21:36 - +1
We had the same dad?
7 Dec 2017 21:10 - +1
Dave Attel: Ya know when you're young and you think your Dad is Superman ... and then you grow up and you realize he's just a drunk in cape?
7 Dec 2017 21:37 - +1
hey, same, me too, my dad was that invisible force that came by once in a while to kick a hole in a door cuz he was drunk or got mad at my mom, and otherwise generally ignored my family other than to collect daily worships on how amazing he was as a provider
7 Dec 2017 18:53 - +1
Damn.. That dad is one superhero
7 Dec 2017 21:42 - +1
I assumed the punchline would be something like 'because he was never around at night and always wore his underwear on the outside of his pants'
7 Dec 2017 20:55 - +1
"Then you realize he was just a drunk with a cape." - Dave Attell
7 Dec 2017 21:48 - +1
then I realized he was just a drunk with a cape!
7 Dec 2017 20:56 - +1
A superhero who always save ur a** 😉
7 Dec 2017 21:50 - +1
Mine's the Hulk. :(
7 Dec 2017 20:57 - +1
"He was never there when I needed him most."

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