What do you proudly do "wrong?"

View original post [self.AskReddit]


7 Dec 2017 22:15 - +28344
I like to use the phrase "Kill one bird with two stones". Make sure that bird is good and dead before ya focus on any other birds
8 Dec 2017 00:44 - +25405
I use my George Foreman grill upside down when making paninis so its weight can squish them harder.
7 Dec 2017 23:21 - +21357
Use the contraction “it’s” out of context. Like if I’m looking for something and I find it “There it’s!”
8 Dec 2017 00:13 - +18835
Not really proudly but I feel like this fits here. I intentionally suck at my job. I work in a store where we have a high focus on sales stats like items per customer/average sale and I'm the best. I also work the most. As a result we've been crushing the other stores in our area since we started up a few months ago. My boss recently fucked me out of some sick leave money, and refused to remedy the situation. So I'm pretending like times are hard and he's panicking because our sales stats suck in the most important month of the year and we're the worst in our region because I was carrying everything and now I'm not any more. It feels good. Store's already lost more money from me being average than he would have had to pay me to make me happy. Wonder if he'll catch on soon. Doesn't matter to me anyway, I'm hourly so I get the same pay anyway. Don't fuck with your best employee.
7 Dec 2017 22:59 - +17516
Not me, my husband. He spells "wrong" as "rong." His reasoning? "If I spelled it right, it wouldn't be wrong." EDIT: I'm reading most of these responses to my husband. He says it's rong that I'm using him for internet popularity, but he appreciates everyone who agrees with him. Also, because this blew up, [have a couple pictures,](https://imgur.com/a/0OoYl) my favorite one of my husband and one of the most recent batch of chocolate covered peanut butter balls (for those of you who were part of that response chain). EDIT 2: My husband has requested I make this edit in order to let you all know he says "It's over 9000!" I'm sorry he is still holding onto dead memes. EDIT 3: He's not a dad. We have no children and don't plan to change that. There is no excuse.
7 Dec 2017 22:45 - +14854
I don't "Please listen to the entire message before making your selection." I keep pressing "0" until a human comes on the line.
7 Dec 2017 23:39 - +13961
I use pictures, descriptions, and sometimes even accounts of football games without the NFL's consent.
7 Dec 2017 23:42 - +12205
Clean my ears with a q tip.
7 Dec 2017 23:05 - +11024
Non-traditional food for breakfast. Look, if I have leftover nachos then I am having leftover nachos for breakfast.
8 Dec 2017 00:39 - +10411
When my kid was 2 and learning to talk, I taught him that a sheep says "baaa", and a cow says "mooo" and a horse says "get off of me!" I have no regrets.
7 Dec 2017 22:38 - +9298
When accompanying the National Anthem ("The Star-Spangled Banner") on the piano, I deliberately transpose the key down to make the vocal range more comfortable (and "high notes" more possible) for the majority of singers.
7 Dec 2017 21:42 - +8083
I drink water into my mouth BEFORE taking a pill. I'll never understand how the vast majority of people are okay putting a dry pill into their mouth. It tastes terrible and sticks to your tongue.
7 Dec 2017 23:36 - +7985
Walk into a Starbucks and order a "large" Edit: What the shit!! A Reddit gold! Thanks peeps!
7 Dec 2017 22:45 - +7076
I put cans and jars on the top shelf so my SO can’t reach them. That way I get to both take them down and open them for her. It makes me appear more manly than I really am.
7 Dec 2017 22:59 - +7036
Apparently tie my shoes. I had no idea until my SO pointed it out. I use two bunny ears and tie them together. :/ I tried doing it the other way but it’s just not as easy. I would really have to go out of my way to relearn how to tie my shoes and I don’t feel like doing that. So I just own it now. The one thing that is annoying about my method is that the it causes the laces to sit more diagonally and not straight across. Oh well! Edit: glad to see I’m not alone! Edit 2: Tried the Ian knot. Not going great. Will update if I get it down. Update: I got the Ian knot down. Just had to slow it down to see what was happening!
7 Dec 2017 22:40 - +6650
Instead of pouring my microwave popcorn out of the bag and into a bowl I cut off the side of the bag. This way I can put my hand in the bag without getting a buttery mess, but also I don't have to dirty a bowl.
8 Dec 2017 00:48 - +6376
When I was a kid, I was confused so instead of "Buenos días" (*good morning*), I'd say "Menos días" (*less days*) because it sounded pretty similar and, well, it was technically true. I still do this every morning with my family because my mum hates it for being too depressing.
7 Dec 2017 22:03 - +5560
8 Dec 2017 00:49 - +5470
I dont ask people for pieces of paper. I ask them for slices of paper.
8 Dec 2017 00:46 - +5352
I say “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”. Nice mixing of metaphors (cross that bridge/burn your bridges). It has mouth appeal and make only about 25% of the folks listening go “what did you say”?
8 Dec 2017 00:31 - +5170
I write the letter "s" from the bottom, upward
7 Dec 2017 21:52 - +4992
I like wearing mismatched socks. Fuck the system!
7 Dec 2017 22:42 - +4235
I rarely do up my shoe laces, I just slip my them on and tighten up my laces every once in a while.
7 Dec 2017 22:05 - +3893
I like to think I've got pretty decent grammar skills, but I consciously end sentences with prepositions all the time. From formal emails to executives at my company to shitposting on reddit, you can bet I'll find a preposition to end a sentence with.
7 Dec 2017 22:37 - +3301
I let my coffee cool down to room temperature before I drink it... I can’t drink hot liquids...
7 Dec 2017 23:56 - +2850
I get in my car headfirst instead of putting my feet in first. Everyone makes fun of me for it, but it seems right to me.
7 Dec 2017 22:21 - +2703
I’ll eat cereal without any milk. The first few times, it was just because my SO was out of milk. Now, I do it because she finds it genuinely perplexing.
8 Dec 2017 01:22 - +2504
AP guidelines say don't use the Oxford comma. I made a point to use it all the time when I wrote for the school paper. Screw the AP. Commas save lives.
8 Dec 2017 00:47 - +2360
My boyfriend starts showers wrong. He says his mom taught him to get in the tub, turn the water on where it's running through the bath faucet, wait for it to get hot, then pull the knob that makes it go through the shower head. So Everytime I here him curse because it's cold water hitting his feet. I asked why he doesn't just turn the water on, pull the knob so it heats up through the shower head, then get in when its an adequate temperature (like my mom taught me and how I feel the right way is), but he continues to curse at cold water every morning.
8 Dec 2017 00:09 - +2338
Wear yoga pants under my jeans. Guys aren't supposed to wear yoga pants. Don't care, I want something under my jeans on a cold day. Edit: changed a word
7 Dec 2017 21:58 - +2321
I don't know if this counts but a lot of people have commented on how weird it is that I absolutely cannot drink throughout my meal but that I have to completely finish my food first before drinking.
7 Dec 2017 23:01 - +2199
This whole thread is just a bunch of /r/madlads
8 Dec 2017 00:05 - +1920
Pronounce iPhone X as "iPhone Ex". If you wanted me to pronounce it as "ten" you should have used "10", not "X"!
7 Dec 2017 23:15 - +1539
I peel bananas from the "butt" end because it's just easier to grab onto.
7 Dec 2017 21:57 - +1382
Where I live we have a bit of an accent where most people don't innunciate the T in certain words. For example mountain would sound like moun-un. My boyfriend's not from here and it drives him crazy when I don't innunciate my Ts, but pronouncing the word correctly feels so wrong lol Edit: Yay I found my fellow Utahins on Reddit for the first time! Lol
8 Dec 2017 00:51 - +825
When people sneeze, I tell them "Congratulations" instead of "Bless you". Everyone I tell does a double take and asks me why. I had a professor in college who said it, and I asked him why. He told me that in ancient Rome people would say "congratulations" to a sneeze because they believed you were ejecting a disease from your body. Idk if that's true or not but it's fun to say.
8 Dec 2017 01:54 - +592
I'm an editor in the US. When I'm not at work, I use the spelling "grey." It suits the color's personality better. Screw you, Webster.
7 Dec 2017 23:54 - +573
Spell Dam**n**it. The 'correct' spelling is 'dammit' for some reason. It makes no sense at all, and sounds like something an 1849er gold miner might toothlessly gum at a barren rockface in frustration after coming up dry for the hundredth time. When I say damnit, I'm saying "damn this thing!" like it's a curse, not "I want to block the flow of water here". DAMNIT.
7 Dec 2017 22:57 - +552
I eat Oreos without taking them apart *OR* dunking them in milk. I'm a rebel.
8 Dec 2017 00:48 - +512
I only eat slightly underripe bananas. People think it's gross, but once the last of the green is gone, I don't like them.
8 Dec 2017 00:47 - +415
My parents have these decorative blocks that spell 'Noel' (ya know, tis the season and all). Anytime during the holidays when we visit, my brother or I will rearrange them to spell Leon. So there's just a wonderful Christmas tradition of holiday cheer and family and food and this dude named Leon. edit: This is by far my favorite subtle, low effort Christmas tradition and I am beyond thrilled that so many of you do the same thing!
8 Dec 2017 00:38 - +405
I made my username when I was around 7 years old. It was supposed to be aunt_pearl, but since I was 7 I spelt it wrong, and now if I spell it right its just not me anymore, so I spell it wrong on purpose with all the accounts I create.
7 Dec 2017 23:08 - +402
I'm pretty good with spelling and grammar, but I absolutely refuse to use the word whom. I hate that word and I couldn't even really tell you why.
8 Dec 2017 00:33 - +359
I say, “it’s not rocket surgery”. I’m not a funny man.
8 Dec 2017 00:50 - +301
Dry off while I'm still in the shower. Why am I going to get anything else wet for no reason?
8 Dec 2017 00:38 - +280
as a man, i pee sitting down. why? easy. no amount of pride is worth accidentally pissing on the floor or toilet seat for your friends or family to gape at.
8 Dec 2017 00:50 - +217
I like to misspell words when I'm texting my close friends. It started out as a joke that I couldn't spell and now I do it on porpose to piss them off.

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