I asked out the most handsome man ever, just to see what would happen...

Hey :) I want to share with you something that just happened to me, because it ended up really being eye opening to me and I'm still a little bit amazed at the whole affair. To understand what happened, you need to know two things - first the man I believed was the love of my life broke up with me out of the blue and it was a slap in the face, I'm talking weeks of crying. Second I'm struggling with mild social anxiety and lack confidence greatly. Anyway, a week after the break up, my friends dragged me to a party. My heart was still in pieces so I wasn't too much in the mood, but I went anyway. I tried my best too have a good time. Then I spot a man that is just unbelievably handsome. Tall, muscled, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw him and my first reaction was "There's no way a man that handsome would ever want to talk to a girl like me." And let me just emphasize that I was not thinking about him taking interest in me or liking me or anything like that... I genuinely thought a guy like him wouldn't want any kind of contact with me. But then I fought "Fuck it. Maybe he does actually... Who am I to suppose what he wants." And you know, thinking I didn't have much too loose, I went over and introduced myself. We had a nice little talk, he was really nice and genuinely happy to talk. Then I let him go his way, went my own and enjoyed my night. We talked a couple more time that night and that was that. But after that night I figured it would be nice to see him again. I didn't have any hidden intention other than getting to know someone new. So I asked a common friend for his number and, after asking a panel of friends if that would be weird or perceived as an aggression, I sent him a little text that said "Hey, it's Sabi from the party Saturday... Would like grabbing a coffee sometime ?" Before sending it, my friends asked me if I was ready for him to say no. They asked me if he had a gf or if he was gay and to be fair, I had no idea. But I figured I didn't have much to loose. And I was ready for the fact that he might not want to hang out with me. And I thought that would be okay, that it wouldn't make me anything less as a person. After sending the text, I put the phone down and starting talking with my friends about how the worst would be waiting for his answer and maybe he wouldn't answer at all ? But before the conversation was over my phone lit up and I add a text saying "Hey :) I would love that actually !" At that point I was ecstatic... I couldn't believe it, the most handsome man ever willing to grab a coffee with me ?? WHAT ? We then arranged to meet the next day in the afternoon... Which was yesterday. And let me just say it went well :) It was everything I hopped it would be, an honest, pleasurable chat with a stranger, that lasted just a bit too long (6h!!) to be innocent but totally without any kind of pressure. But the thing I found out, the whole point of that story and what really blew my mind is how insecure that man is. He doesn't even see himself as handsome !!! Actually, the most handsome man I ever saw probably couldn't believe that a girl like *me* just texted him out of the blue... So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we *think* other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people... Edit : For the people wondering, even though it's not really the point of the story, I'm a 26y/o French girl... You people all warmed my heart, you're awesome, and I'm really sorry for the couple grumpy people that seems to still be struggling big time with their insecurities. You'll get there and we love you :)

View original post [self.TwoXChromosomes]


14 Mar 2018 21:45 - +5903
An artist will notice all the "flaws" they make because they have an idea for what they want the picture to be. A viewer sees the painting for what it is, without a preconcieved idea. Everyone is the artist of themselves, and the flaws you think of your person others will not notice - or not think of as flaws in the first place. And remember, everything starts as a blank canvas. Its best to not ignore how far your "painting" has come.
14 Mar 2018 22:24 - +925
You never know what will happen! I went to a party about 2 weeks after I moved to Ottawa for college. Didn’t know a single soul was just invited by this guy through a college group. The guy picked me up with his buddy. When I saw his buddy (we’ll call him M) I was like “Jesus Christ he’s perfect looking” black hair and bluest eyes, I melted. When we got to the party I was all by my lonesome self but after I got some drinks in me and we got put into our beer pong teams, I got put with M. And after that I bothered him the entire night. We hung out the entire night. I took his phone and put my number in and he “forced” me to add him in Facebook. After we got kicked out of the party all his friends and I went to some park. We ended finding out that we both have some major things in common after stuff happened in our lives. He turned out to be a massive sweetheart who was really shy. His sister ended up giving me a ride home (to which she was surprised because M had never had a girlfriend before much less really talk to girls) After that, he was the first one to wish me happy birthday a few days later and we ended up going on a bunch of dates and 2.5 years later we’re still together 😁 I hope this guy turns out well!
14 Mar 2018 22:04 - +574
This makes a breakthrough in the old "guy should ask out first" ideology. I congratulate you for doing this. Good vibes!
14 Mar 2018 22:14 - +438
Man here. I think most men are insecure about themselves and if a girl ever asks you out that's probably the best thing that has ever happened to you. It's always the guys that have to approach a girl. Imagine a average looking guy building up courage to approach a beautiful girl who happens to have makeup, beautiful dress, and smells like a angel. That guy has so many physical insecurities about himself such his looks, height, bad breath, clothing style and then also has to worry about saying the right things with keeping in the back of his mind that this girl has been approached 1000 times by guys with every pickup line imaginable. The anxiety that builds up to that point is brutal but you have to play the game to win.That guy you asked out probably never got asked out. When he does finally build up the courage to talk to her she is normally going to react with shit tests like have a boy friend, here with my friends etc.. Its most of the time a no which doesn't help with the insecurities. I think girls should ask out guys more often if they find them attractive. I personally have been waiting all my life for this lol. I will say yes to any girl just due the mere fact they asked me out. I couldn't even phantom saying no. I think it was so awesome that you asked that guy out and hopefully leads to something more meaningful.
14 Mar 2018 22:49 - +164
This whole thread is making me feel better about accidentally sending this super hot rock climber a pic of himself on Instagram, when I was actually trying to send it to my friend to show her how hot we was! We met on Tinder lol. He was like uh yes? And I was like shit didn’t mean to send you that, yes you caught me creepin on your page and I find you very attractive! He said he was flattered and we’ve been talking since.. we somewhat have plans to go on a hike but nothing solid has happened yet! Keep your fingers crossed for me :)
14 Mar 2018 22:25 - +112
Your date lasted 6 hours? Yes, I'd say it went pretty well!
14 Mar 2018 21:54 - +76
Nothing is more attractive in a person than assertiveness.
14 Mar 2018 21:51 - +62
English Tip bc I have OCD: You are using "loose" instead of "lose." But I am SO happy for you! I get so nervous going out on a limb so I love it when it goes well like this. It sounds like you guys hit it off pretty well. Do you have plans to meet again?
14 Mar 2018 22:27 - +50
I'm ugly. Ask me out
14 Mar 2018 23:13 - +44
ITT: If you're attractive, you will win every time.
14 Mar 2018 22:41 - +43
Awwww that's awesome and so true. I had a friend for years that I liked very much but he never seemed interested in me romantically. Years later we were chatting one day and he said "You know, I always find it tough to talk with you". and horrified I asked why. He said "From the moment we met I thought to myself, there is no way a beautiful girl like that would ever talk to someone like me, much less go out with me. What would I say to her, how would I form a sentence?" What a waste, two well matched people both will low self esteem. I cannot tell you how proud I am of you, that you took the leap. /u/MrNotAScrewdriver put it very eloquently. You guys are absolutely right on!
14 Mar 2018 22:26 - +42
Man, I really wish these kinds of posts didn't show up on the front page.
14 Mar 2018 23:15 - +40
Yeah, you're probably attractive. Congratulations.
14 Mar 2018 22:46 - +35
Just read your story out loud to my fiancé because that is almost word-for-word how we met. :)
14 Mar 2018 21:43 - +31
Good for you ! It's so important to find that balance between letting ourselves grieve over a loss and not allowing that loss determine our future happiness. I think you're right that we often have distorted ideas about our own "worth" or attractiveness and how others perceive us so if nothing else comes out of your time with this new man you have at least learned that stepping out of your comfort zone can be rewarding for yourself and others. Best of luck to you !
14 Mar 2018 23:06 - +30
I wish my life was as easy as the average woman's.
14 Mar 2018 23:12 - +29
As a man, I cam tell you that we are usually flattered if a woman asks us out, as it almost never happens. There's also no such thing as 'out of your league' unless you're talking about shallow people, in which case they usually aren't worth your time anyhow. One of my best friends is an attractive guy, well dressed, good career etc, but lacks confidence with women. He has recently got a girlfriend and she asked him out. She's quite average looking and dresses quite plain, but she's the most kind and amazing lady ever and they're so happy together, he would have never said a word to her had she not inititated contact and asked for a date. Women, ask men out, tell us you're interested and above all, if you're speaking to a man don't assume they're flirting with you and feel the need to declare you have a boyfriend (the amount of times I'm walking jy dog and chat to a random woman and she throws this one out, despite me having zero interest in her is quite off putting).
14 Mar 2018 22:45 - +28
One of the best things I've ever learned is that lots of people don't see themselves as on the pedestal YOU see them on. I am an illustrator. I'm told I'm good. I personally believe I am hot garbage, but to some others I'm like "WOW you're super awesome, Id love to work with you" and I'm all like: "umm, ok but all my work blows, but thanks?" The above interaction is mostly true for all areas of social interaction. Hot guy? He probably thinks he's average at best. Talented person? Probably thinks they are average at best. We should all just talk to each other and say screw it. :)
14 Mar 2018 21:53 - +23
14 Mar 2018 22:18 - +22
Are you in high school? Serious question
14 Mar 2018 23:07 - +20
Guy here, I’m not the most handsome guy ever but I feel like I’m generally attractive. Anyways just want to chime in and say that this would make my year if a girl did this to me. I would go on a date with her and even if we weren’t a perfect match I would have nothing but respect for her going forward
14 Mar 2018 23:00 - +19
“Much too loose”. Kill me.
14 Mar 2018 23:07 - +17
I did that once, was just out of a 6 year relationship and saw this mega hottie on ok Cupid - could not believe he wanted to date me. We are married now!
14 Mar 2018 23:14 - +15
Not to be a party-pooper here, but heartbroken and in one week hitting on the hottest guy around doesn't quite fit in my mind at the same time. But then again, every person is different I guess. Also, I'm very happy you realise that your worth is not defined by another person, loved one or not. That's the first step to being two whole people with your future loved one instead of just two halves.
14 Mar 2018 22:25 - +14
I love how happy your text seems, congrats! I had a similar experience once, even asked him to marry me, been together for a while now.
14 Mar 2018 23:09 - +10
Recently dated a guy who was so, so cute. Honestly, the most attractive guy I've ever been with, period, and I admitted I thought he was out of my league. He was totally shocked--he kept saying he didn't see how that could be possibly because he thought I was out of HIS league. I've always considered myself average looking, at best, and it gave me a lot more confidence in my appearance to know that someone I thought was WAY hotter than me thought the same thing of me as I did him.
14 Mar 2018 22:27 - +10
Strong work young lady! I hope this blossoms into a lovely friendship. Please be careful with your heart, sounds like you could be vulnerable right now post break up. But hey, you are taking life by the horns, and that is commendable :)
14 Mar 2018 22:39 - +9
Just for future reference I wouldn't get that excited over someone's appearance next time. Appearance tells you nothing about compatibility.
14 Mar 2018 22:45 - +9
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
14 Mar 2018 21:53 - +7
Also don't take him at face value. Many people like to be complimented. It feeds their ego and provides a proof of being liked. And will look indirectly for it.
14 Mar 2018 22:17 - +7
I'm so happy for you! Are you planning on meeting again?
14 Mar 2018 22:59 - +6
Can anybody elaborate on how the initial text may have been perceived as, “an aggression”? I don’t understand what that means in this context and I think it’s part of the relevant social discussion right now.
14 Mar 2018 22:30 - +6
Is there any chance that you might be from Finland and more presicely from Turku-area? There was something that rang a bell in my head about this and last clue was the nickname Sabi.
14 Mar 2018 22:08 - +6
Way to take a risk and extend yourself out of your comfort zone. I hope you've made a good friend and can keep up this confidence high!
14 Mar 2018 23:10 - +6
Yay for you - and what a coffee date - 6 hours!!! And yay for remembering that everyone is human. Even super good looking people, even super smart people, even super unattractive people, even people with disabilities, even people who [fill in the blank]. It's good to be reminded sometimes. Everyone is just a person.
14 Mar 2018 22:55 - +5
When I was in middle school, just after moving to a new school system, I was nobody special. I mixed in with my classmates well enough, but never stood out, was terribly awkward, and while the whole idea of dating had crossed my mind, it was in the context of, “well, that’s something the cool, sporty, not dorky kids do”. So, imagine my surprise when one of those cool, sporty girls asked me out! She turns to me in class, just before the bell, and it falls out of her popular mouth with the greatest of ease and confidence. First, I stuttered, unsure what was happens. Then I squeezed out a smile as I looked around, waiting to see if anybody was watching. Finally, I looked at her and stammered out “are you kidding?” Well, she wasn’t. But it was pretty clear she was no longer interested after that. Good on OP for asking, my dating career was influenced by my first experience with being asked first, but it was a thing I relished when it did happen.
14 Mar 2018 21:34 - +5
14 Mar 2018 22:47 - +4
Guess what? "Everybody poops", and The Most Handsome Man is still just a human being. Whether this works out or not, best of luck to you :)
14 Mar 2018 22:51 - +4
You gals are usually way harder on yourself than most men will ever be (about you). Then again, it's scary thinking about the possibility of getting rejected. It sucks. Us men have a natural "advantage" when it comes to this, because we get rejected way more due to expectation in society of making the first move. What I'm trying to say, don't fret about little things, don't let doubt stop you and go get your own happiness by the figurative or literal balls. Not every try will succeed but you'll make it eventually.
14 Mar 2018 23:03 - +3
As an above average looking man here. Being approached by a women is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It has only happen a couple times in my before married life and your floating on air for the rest of the day/week
14 Mar 2018 23:03 - +3
Your story warmed my heart! I've always been the type of girl that was never afraid to ask a guy out. That being said I'm not what people would consider as hot or conventionally beautiful. I'm short, and I would say I'm a bit chubby. But, confidence is huge! I'm comfortable with myself and people are drawn to that. Hope you enjoy your time with this guy. You deserve it! ❤️
14 Mar 2018 22:20 - +2
Well congrats! Hopefully this turns into something for you.
14 Mar 2018 22:42 - +2
Wish more women were strong and brave like you.
14 Mar 2018 22:53 - +2
Jesus Christ it’s LOSE not loose. Why is this so common now? Do people still go to elementary school?
14 Mar 2018 23:12 - +2
I have a hard time approaching girls so I know how you feel doing so. I'm hoping with a bit more practice and bringing myself to realize that a no doesn't make me less of a person....it just removes a possible good opportunity for them or I dodge a bullet so to speak. Getting past the fear is the hard part.....just can't seem to get over that wall.
14 Mar 2018 23:06 - +2
This is actually a sick story, good for you for challenging yourself
14 Mar 2018 22:48 - +1
Really good post! I think that's an incredibly important point you are making, that we all have our perceptions of ourselves and of others, but there's no guaranteeing these perceptions line up with reality! Sorry about your break-up, but waita get right back out there!
14 Mar 2018 23:12 - +1
This is a lovely story. I wish you all the best whether he turns into a life long friend or the love of your life. Just enjoy.
14 Mar 2018 22:47 - +1
I love this! Thank you for sharing your great success. :D
14 Mar 2018 22:46 - +0

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